Today I Cried
Today I cried. I saw my friend Marc today who had fled Lebanon this morning. I saw him for a couple of hours before he went to the airport. His flight leaves to Cairo in an hour. I just got back to my uncle's house and cried. Marc was the first person I've seen in Amman who I'd seen last in Beirut. Seeing him here, so out of context, slapped me with the reality of my situation.
I am alone here. In a city I do not know. Away from my home and my neighbourhood. Away from parents, siblings and friends. Away from everything that is familiar. Inside, I wanted so desperately for Marc to stay, at least for another hour. He was the first thing I'd seen here that related to my life in Lebanon. I don't know what it is I am feeling. It's not just homesickness. It's also fear for the home which I am sick for. When this is over and I go back, even then, I will not be returning to the familiarity I am missing so much right now.
Since I said good-bye to my parents in the mountains, there was only one other time I came close to crying. I was at the Syrian-Jordanian border, waiting in the 'Foreigners' line to get my visa for Jordan. I was travelling on my American passport. My uncle was standing in the 'Arabs' line with his Lebanese passport. My Lebanese one was together with my parents' at the travel agency when Israel started to attack us. We had been planning a family vacation to Russia and so we'd sent our passports off to get visas. My brother was meant to arrive from Washington, D.C. this past Sunday and we had planned to leave for St. Petersburg and Moscow next week. I am the youngest of three children. I see each of my family members often throughout the year, but, as we've gotten older, its become a rare occasion that I get to see more than one or two of them at a time. Even though my sister could not join us, we still were so excited for the trip and to spend time together. We were supposed to leave for Russia tomorrow.
My uncle's line moved much faster than mine and he joined me before I had reached the window. He noticed as I pulled out the 15 Jordanian Dinars for the cost of my visa. He turned, looked at me sternly and offered up the 15 dinars himself as he told me I was not to pay for anything while I was in Jordan. He said it with a feeling that was something more than the regular generosity I am accustomed to with Arabs. His tone struck me. I realized then that I am in Amman indefinitely and with limited resources. I saved myself from tears with a few big breaths as I remembered the people crossing the Lebanese-Syrian border on foot next to me, just on the other side of my car window, with far less than me.
The last few days, since my arrival here, I'd slowly begun to decompress with the normalcy of Amman around me. I had started to get accustomed that the hollow thuds of the construction site nearby were not indisciminate Israeli ballistics and that the crackle of nuptual nighttime fireworks were not their bombs. But seeing Marc here was so abnormal that it shattered any kind of comfort that I had built with my new surroundings. While I do feel homesick and scared for my family and for Lebanon, I am also determined to help them.
This story is not just my own. It's the story of each Lebanese. We just each have our own version. It may shock you that, thank God, until now, mine is one of the more palatable versions. Today, as Marc approached the Lebanese-Syrian border, he fled by two burning buses. These buses, like his, were also trying to flee the country. Their passengers had become victims not more than five minutes earlier of Israel's 'surgical airstrikes'. These victims cannot tell you their versions of the story.
The statistics below are all part of someone's story. To date:
v 306 civilians dead in Lebanon, 53% of them children; 74% of them entire families
v Lebanon is under siege: Israel has destroyed every airport, bombed every major road artery and attacked every port from the north to the south. Travel in and out of the country is near impossible.
v Israeli bombs or shells have cut off a total of 38 roads and have destroyed 55 bridges, severely curtailing the ability to travel even within the country and preventing the safe delivery of food and medicines.
v Israeli shelling has displaced 650,000 Lebanese, or 16% of the population - the equivalent of 50 million Americans, 25 times the number displaced by Katrina. It can be likened to the evacuation of the total populations of the 40 most populous cities in America combined, including Boston, NY, Chicago, D.C., LA, San Francisco, Houston, Philadelphia, Dallas and Detroit.
v Israel has destroyed more than 100 homes and residential buildings in the areas surrounding Beirut, Tripoli and in the South. They have also targeted hospitals, churches, mosques, schools, water treatment plants, milk factories, paper mills and wheat silos.
v Israeli bombing has destroyed 17 fuel stores, 4 gas stores and 12 gas stations. It has hit electricity plants throughout the country, leaving 750,000 residents in the south and large areas in Beirut without electricity.
v The Lebanese finance minister has estimated that damage to the country already amounts to several billion dollars, undoing 15 years worth of reconstruction.
v Despite this extensive bloodshed and damage, the U.S. has refused to call for a ceasefire. This week New York Senator Hillary Clinton proclaimed: "We will stand with Israel because Israel is standing for American values as well as Israeli ones." The U.S. Ambassador to the U.N. John Bolton declared: "I don't think that the use of force by Israel is excessive."
This story is yours too. Its the story of your duty to rethink your identity and to act. We are human, first and foremost. Only after that are we all the identities of region, nation, city and neighborhood. We share the same humanity. As you read this, the unfettered, indiscriminate and brutal decimation of Lebanon at the hands of the Israeli army is jeopordising your humanity.
I have never before been faced with a problem I haven't been able to fix on my own or with the help of my friends and family. Today I am faced with one I cannot solve alone. I need the help of my friends. And their friends. And their friends' friends. I need your help. We are all connected by six degrees of separation. I beseach you all, as my friends, to help me now.
I have 260 people on my mailing list. If you each donate $30, you will raise $7,800. Imagine if you donate more. Pass on my email to your friends. The more the better. But even if you only had ten people on your list, imagine if each of them donates another $30. That's another $78,000. And when it gets passed on again, that's at least another 780,000. Keep passing it on.
You can donate for relief in Lebanon by credit card at International Red Cross Website at the following link.
- http://www.icrc.org/web/eng/siteeng0.nsf/iwpList2/Help_the_ICRC?OpenDocument
Their lives are endangered not only by bombs, but by the situation those bombs have created. People are threatened by unhygenic conditions, sickness, scarcity of medical supplies and treatment, lack of electricity, water and gas, leaving people unable to refrigerate food or to cook it, or to run medical equipment such as dialysis machines, or to wash themselves and their clothes, or to change diapers.
Their lives are endangered not only by bombs, but by the situation those bombs have created. People are threatened by unhygenic conditions, sickness, scarcity of medical supplies and treatment, lack of electricity, water and gas, leaving people unable to refrigerate food or to cook it, or to run medical equipment such as dialysis machines, or to wash themselves and their clothes, or to change diapers.
A friend set up a site which I am maintaining. It has my other emails and ways to help:
- http://reem-in-lebanon.blogspot.com
Always,
Reem
"Is the value of human life in Lebanon less than that of the citizens of other countries?"– Lebanese Prime Minister Fouad Siniora
I am alone here. In a city I do not know. Away from my home and my neighbourhood. Away from parents, siblings and friends. Away from everything that is familiar. Inside, I wanted so desperately for Marc to stay, at least for another hour. He was the first thing I'd seen here that related to my life in Lebanon. I don't know what it is I am feeling. It's not just homesickness. It's also fear for the home which I am sick for. When this is over and I go back, even then, I will not be returning to the familiarity I am missing so much right now.
Since I said good-bye to my parents in the mountains, there was only one other time I came close to crying. I was at the Syrian-Jordanian border, waiting in the 'Foreigners' line to get my visa for Jordan. I was travelling on my American passport. My uncle was standing in the 'Arabs' line with his Lebanese passport. My Lebanese one was together with my parents' at the travel agency when Israel started to attack us. We had been planning a family vacation to Russia and so we'd sent our passports off to get visas. My brother was meant to arrive from Washington, D.C. this past Sunday and we had planned to leave for St. Petersburg and Moscow next week. I am the youngest of three children. I see each of my family members often throughout the year, but, as we've gotten older, its become a rare occasion that I get to see more than one or two of them at a time. Even though my sister could not join us, we still were so excited for the trip and to spend time together. We were supposed to leave for Russia tomorrow.
My uncle's line moved much faster than mine and he joined me before I had reached the window. He noticed as I pulled out the 15 Jordanian Dinars for the cost of my visa. He turned, looked at me sternly and offered up the 15 dinars himself as he told me I was not to pay for anything while I was in Jordan. He said it with a feeling that was something more than the regular generosity I am accustomed to with Arabs. His tone struck me. I realized then that I am in Amman indefinitely and with limited resources. I saved myself from tears with a few big breaths as I remembered the people crossing the Lebanese-Syrian border on foot next to me, just on the other side of my car window, with far less than me.
The last few days, since my arrival here, I'd slowly begun to decompress with the normalcy of Amman around me. I had started to get accustomed that the hollow thuds of the construction site nearby were not indisciminate Israeli ballistics and that the crackle of nuptual nighttime fireworks were not their bombs. But seeing Marc here was so abnormal that it shattered any kind of comfort that I had built with my new surroundings. While I do feel homesick and scared for my family and for Lebanon, I am also determined to help them.
This story is not just my own. It's the story of each Lebanese. We just each have our own version. It may shock you that, thank God, until now, mine is one of the more palatable versions. Today, as Marc approached the Lebanese-Syrian border, he fled by two burning buses. These buses, like his, were also trying to flee the country. Their passengers had become victims not more than five minutes earlier of Israel's 'surgical airstrikes'. These victims cannot tell you their versions of the story.
The statistics below are all part of someone's story. To date:
v 306 civilians dead in Lebanon, 53% of them children; 74% of them entire families
v Lebanon is under siege: Israel has destroyed every airport, bombed every major road artery and attacked every port from the north to the south. Travel in and out of the country is near impossible.
v Israeli bombs or shells have cut off a total of 38 roads and have destroyed 55 bridges, severely curtailing the ability to travel even within the country and preventing the safe delivery of food and medicines.
v Israeli shelling has displaced 650,000 Lebanese, or 16% of the population - the equivalent of 50 million Americans, 25 times the number displaced by Katrina. It can be likened to the evacuation of the total populations of the 40 most populous cities in America combined, including Boston, NY, Chicago, D.C., LA, San Francisco, Houston, Philadelphia, Dallas and Detroit.
v Israel has destroyed more than 100 homes and residential buildings in the areas surrounding Beirut, Tripoli and in the South. They have also targeted hospitals, churches, mosques, schools, water treatment plants, milk factories, paper mills and wheat silos.
v Israeli bombing has destroyed 17 fuel stores, 4 gas stores and 12 gas stations. It has hit electricity plants throughout the country, leaving 750,000 residents in the south and large areas in Beirut without electricity.
v The Lebanese finance minister has estimated that damage to the country already amounts to several billion dollars, undoing 15 years worth of reconstruction.
v Despite this extensive bloodshed and damage, the U.S. has refused to call for a ceasefire. This week New York Senator Hillary Clinton proclaimed: "We will stand with Israel because Israel is standing for American values as well as Israeli ones." The U.S. Ambassador to the U.N. John Bolton declared: "I don't think that the use of force by Israel is excessive."
This story is yours too. Its the story of your duty to rethink your identity and to act. We are human, first and foremost. Only after that are we all the identities of region, nation, city and neighborhood. We share the same humanity. As you read this, the unfettered, indiscriminate and brutal decimation of Lebanon at the hands of the Israeli army is jeopordising your humanity.
I have never before been faced with a problem I haven't been able to fix on my own or with the help of my friends and family. Today I am faced with one I cannot solve alone. I need the help of my friends. And their friends. And their friends' friends. I need your help. We are all connected by six degrees of separation. I beseach you all, as my friends, to help me now.
I have 260 people on my mailing list. If you each donate $30, you will raise $7,800. Imagine if you donate more. Pass on my email to your friends. The more the better. But even if you only had ten people on your list, imagine if each of them donates another $30. That's another $78,000. And when it gets passed on again, that's at least another 780,000. Keep passing it on.
You can donate for relief in Lebanon by credit card at International Red Cross Website at the following link.
- http://www.icrc.org/web/eng/siteeng0.nsf/iwpList2/Help_the_ICRC?OpenDocument
Their lives are endangered not only by bombs, but by the situation those bombs have created. People are threatened by unhygenic conditions, sickness, scarcity of medical supplies and treatment, lack of electricity, water and gas, leaving people unable to refrigerate food or to cook it, or to run medical equipment such as dialysis machines, or to wash themselves and their clothes, or to change diapers.
Their lives are endangered not only by bombs, but by the situation those bombs have created. People are threatened by unhygenic conditions, sickness, scarcity of medical supplies and treatment, lack of electricity, water and gas, leaving people unable to refrigerate food or to cook it, or to run medical equipment such as dialysis machines, or to wash themselves and their clothes, or to change diapers.
A friend set up a site which I am maintaining. It has my other emails and ways to help:
- http://reem-in-lebanon.blogspot.com
Always,
Reem
"Is the value of human life in Lebanon less than that of the citizens of other countries?"– Lebanese Prime Minister Fouad Siniora
posted by Reem at 3:44 AM
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